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! REPORT
The Sardine Game
3D Render by mrtauredZeus
No one click apps or AI.
Tauredian Sardines. It's what cats crave!
And it's true. One of the lab cats at Tauredian Laboratories escaped for a day. He was found back in his cage that night. Nobody suspected what Cat Nip had done that day. He'd say, if he could, that he'd merely found several cans to share with his fellow genetically modified felines on his way back after a hot date at The Alley. However, the scientists saw the news and confiscated those cans and... 100 dollars in cash? That cat!
Have a fun day!
No one click apps or AI.
Tauredian Sardines. It's what cats crave!
And it's true. One of the lab cats at Tauredian Laboratories escaped for a day. He was found back in his cage that night. Nobody suspected what Cat Nip had done that day. He'd say, if he could, that he'd merely found several cans to share with his fellow genetically modified felines on his way back after a hot date at The Alley. However, the scientists saw the news and confiscated those cans and... 100 dollars in cash? That cat!
Have a fun day!
Digital Drapery Co
Fri, Apr 11
Karma: Officially banned from 3 art museums and 1 PetSmart
**[TAUREDIAN ACTION NEWS - LIVE BULLETIN]**
BREAKING: Local Cat Declares War on Capitalism, Escapes With Sardines and Existential Questions
ANCHOR: "Good evening. We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming with breaking news out of downtown Alley District…"
A genetically modified feline known only as "Zeus" - alias 'Cat Nip' - has allegedly stormed a local convenience store wielding what authorities are describing as a 'suspiciously well-handled assault rifle' and demanding only one thing: Tauredian Sardines.
Witnesses say the feline entered calmly, flipped his beret with dramatic flair, and shouted, "This is for the lab cats!" before opening fire into the ceiling - strictly for ambiance.
Security footage shows Zeus stacking cans like he's building a shrine to Omega-3s while doing interpretive dance over a pile of confiscated coupons.
Tauredian Labs has issued a statement saying:
"We're not mad. We're just… confused. Also, who gave him $100?"
Experts are calling the act a "surrealist rebellion against capitalist pet food chains," while locals are simply calling it, "Tuesday."
Authorities caution that Zeus may be "armed, adorable, and extremely philosophical."
If seen, do not approach. Offer fish. And maybe a blank canvas.
We'll keep you updated as this story develops - or unravels like yarn on linoleum. Back to you.
**[TAUREDIAN ACTION NEWS - LIVE BULLETIN CONTINUES]**
Fri, Apr 11
Karma: Officially banned from 3 art museums and 1 PetSmart
**[TAUREDIAN ACTION NEWS - LIVE BULLETIN]**
BREAKING: Local Cat Declares War on Capitalism, Escapes With Sardines and Existential Questions
ANCHOR: "Good evening. We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming with breaking news out of downtown Alley District…"
A genetically modified feline known only as "Zeus" - alias 'Cat Nip' - has allegedly stormed a local convenience store wielding what authorities are describing as a 'suspiciously well-handled assault rifle' and demanding only one thing: Tauredian Sardines.
Witnesses say the feline entered calmly, flipped his beret with dramatic flair, and shouted, "This is for the lab cats!" before opening fire into the ceiling - strictly for ambiance.
Security footage shows Zeus stacking cans like he's building a shrine to Omega-3s while doing interpretive dance over a pile of confiscated coupons.
Tauredian Labs has issued a statement saying:
"We're not mad. We're just… confused. Also, who gave him $100?"
Experts are calling the act a "surrealist rebellion against capitalist pet food chains," while locals are simply calling it, "Tuesday."
Authorities caution that Zeus may be "armed, adorable, and extremely philosophical."
If seen, do not approach. Offer fish. And maybe a blank canvas.
We'll keep you updated as this story develops - or unravels like yarn on linoleum. Back to you.
**[TAUREDIAN ACTION NEWS - LIVE BULLETIN CONTINUES]**
REPLY
! REPORT
ANCHOR:
"We now go live to our correspondent, Peaches McFurball, reporting from the scene. Peaches?"
**[FIELD REPORTER - Peaches McFurball, standing in front of a taped-off corner store, wind dramatically blowing through her fur coat]**
PEACHES:
"Thanks, Todd. I'm here outside the 'SnackShack 24/7' where the scene earlier today could only be described as Banksy meets Grand Theft Auto.
Behind me, shattered shelves, scattered sardines, and what one witness described as 'a jazz solo in fur form.'
I spoke to a shaken eyewitness who was inside during the incident. Here's what they had to say:"
**[CUT TO EYEWITNESS - visibly rattled raccoon in a hoodie, clutching a Slurpee]**
"Man just appeared. Kicked the door open like he owned the timeline. Said something about 'redistributing the fish wealth.' Then he moonwalked across aisle 3 while screaming 'Art is resistance!' I... I just came in for Funyuns."
PEACHES (nodding seriously):
"Back to you in the studio, Todd."
ANCHOR:
"Thank you, Peaches. A wild night, a rogue cat, and questions the art world - and the government - aren't ready to answer. Stay safe out there, folks. And keep your sardines locked up."
"We now go live to our correspondent, Peaches McFurball, reporting from the scene. Peaches?"
**[FIELD REPORTER - Peaches McFurball, standing in front of a taped-off corner store, wind dramatically blowing through her fur coat]**
PEACHES:
"Thanks, Todd. I'm here outside the 'SnackShack 24/7' where the scene earlier today could only be described as Banksy meets Grand Theft Auto.
Behind me, shattered shelves, scattered sardines, and what one witness described as 'a jazz solo in fur form.'
I spoke to a shaken eyewitness who was inside during the incident. Here's what they had to say:"
**[CUT TO EYEWITNESS - visibly rattled raccoon in a hoodie, clutching a Slurpee]**
"Man just appeared. Kicked the door open like he owned the timeline. Said something about 'redistributing the fish wealth.' Then he moonwalked across aisle 3 while screaming 'Art is resistance!' I... I just came in for Funyuns."
PEACHES (nodding seriously):
"Back to you in the studio, Todd."
ANCHOR:
"Thank you, Peaches. A wild night, a rogue cat, and questions the art world - and the government - aren't ready to answer. Stay safe out there, folks. And keep your sardines locked up."
REPLY
! REPORT
**[TAUREDIAN ACTION NEWS EMERGENCY BULLETIN]**
ANCHOR (Todd Whiskerman):
"Good evening. We have shocking new developments in the now-infamous 'Sardine Situation' involving rogue lab cat, Zeus - also known by his street name, Cat Nip."
This just in: Sources confirm that the heist wasn't the night's only headline.
**[FIELD REPORT Peaches McFurball, looking slightly scandalized]**
PEACHES:
"That's right, Todd. While authorities originally believed Zeus vanished into the night after liberating 14 cans of sardines and approximately $100 in wrinkled bills… eyewitnesses report a mysterious detour to a known alley hotspot: 'The Alley', an underground jazz lounge and speakeasy for genetically enhanced felines."
Dim lighting. Velvet cushions. Forbidden glances.
Staff at The Alley confirm Zeus arrived wearing a pinstripe vest, no ID, and the swagger of a noir protagonist. He was seen canoodling with a sleek Siamese known only as Velvet, before reportedly sharing a plate of grilled sardines and disappearing into the VIP litter box lounge.
**[CUT TO SERVER INTERVIEW Calico in a tiny apron]**
"He tipped in coupons, said 'The system's fake anyway.' Honestly? Icon."
PEACHES:
"Zeus reportedly left the club with a rose between his teeth, a jazz solo echoing in the night, and zero regrets."
ANCHOR (Todd):
"A love affair. A revolution. A snack-fueled crime wave. This story has it all. More updates as the legend of Zeus continues to unfold. Stay safe, stay skeptical… and maybe hide your sardines."
ANCHOR (Todd Whiskerman):
"Good evening. We have shocking new developments in the now-infamous 'Sardine Situation' involving rogue lab cat, Zeus - also known by his street name, Cat Nip."
This just in: Sources confirm that the heist wasn't the night's only headline.
**[FIELD REPORT Peaches McFurball, looking slightly scandalized]**
PEACHES:
"That's right, Todd. While authorities originally believed Zeus vanished into the night after liberating 14 cans of sardines and approximately $100 in wrinkled bills… eyewitnesses report a mysterious detour to a known alley hotspot: 'The Alley', an underground jazz lounge and speakeasy for genetically enhanced felines."
Dim lighting. Velvet cushions. Forbidden glances.
Staff at The Alley confirm Zeus arrived wearing a pinstripe vest, no ID, and the swagger of a noir protagonist. He was seen canoodling with a sleek Siamese known only as Velvet, before reportedly sharing a plate of grilled sardines and disappearing into the VIP litter box lounge.
**[CUT TO SERVER INTERVIEW Calico in a tiny apron]**
"He tipped in coupons, said 'The system's fake anyway.' Honestly? Icon."
PEACHES:
"Zeus reportedly left the club with a rose between his teeth, a jazz solo echoing in the night, and zero regrets."
ANCHOR (Todd):
"A love affair. A revolution. A snack-fueled crime wave. This story has it all. More updates as the legend of Zeus continues to unfold. Stay safe, stay skeptical… and maybe hide your sardines."
REPLY
! REPORT
[Slow jazz plays in the background. Rain falls softly. A low, gravelly voice begins.]
ZEUS NOIR MONOLOGUE - "The Alley Job
By Digital Drapery Co.
"It started with a craving. Not for power. Not for vengeance.
But for sardines… and maybe a little love on the side.
The lab was cold. Sterile. Predictable.
But The Alley? That place was alive.
Velvet lights. Louder jazz. A scent in the air I couldn't shake -
maybe it was cheap perfume, maybe it was freedom.
She was waiting, perched at the corner booth like sin in silk fur.
Went by Velvet. Of course she did.
I told her I had to make a stop.
"Be back in ten. Save me a seat and don't fall for a tabby."
She just winked.
That's when I hit the SnackShack.
Fourteen cans. One hundred bucks in cash.
Left a note that said, Late-stage capitalism is a scam. XO - Z.'
Moonwalked out of there like the ghost of James Brown.
Came back to The Alley with fish breath, jazz in my paws,
and a rose I stole off the hostess stand.
We danced. We dined. We didn't look back.
But every cat knows -
when the night's that perfect, the morning's gonna come with a knock.
[Slow fade out of jazz and a ticking clock]
ZEUS NOIR MONOLOGUE - "The Alley Job
By Digital Drapery Co.
"It started with a craving. Not for power. Not for vengeance.
But for sardines… and maybe a little love on the side.
The lab was cold. Sterile. Predictable.
But The Alley? That place was alive.
Velvet lights. Louder jazz. A scent in the air I couldn't shake -
maybe it was cheap perfume, maybe it was freedom.
She was waiting, perched at the corner booth like sin in silk fur.
Went by Velvet. Of course she did.
I told her I had to make a stop.
"Be back in ten. Save me a seat and don't fall for a tabby."
She just winked.
That's when I hit the SnackShack.
Fourteen cans. One hundred bucks in cash.
Left a note that said, Late-stage capitalism is a scam. XO - Z.'
Moonwalked out of there like the ghost of James Brown.
Came back to The Alley with fish breath, jazz in my paws,
and a rose I stole off the hostess stand.
We danced. We dined. We didn't look back.
But every cat knows -
when the night's that perfect, the morning's gonna come with a knock.
[Slow fade out of jazz and a ticking clock]
REPLY
! REPORT
mrtaured
Karma: 14,460
Fri, Apr 11Hahaha. That was amazing! Thank you so much for adding that. Cant wait to do another gallery!! 
hoping to get some more models soon!
hoping to get some more models soon!Digital Drapery Co
Karma: 6,633
Fri, Apr 11Haha yesss!! You seriously gave us the perfect playground—Zeus is forever etched into the legend scrolls now
We're hyped for whatever comes next—bring on the chaos, drama, and more glorious feline operas!
New arts incoming? Say less—we’ll have the jazz soundtrack ready and the sardines chilled.
Let the next gallery begin!
We're hyped for whatever comes next—bring on the chaos, drama, and more glorious feline operas!
New arts incoming? Say less—we’ll have the jazz soundtrack ready and the sardines chilled.
Let the next gallery begin!
GIMP
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