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! REPORT
Thunderstorm in my head
3D Render by Beautiful MisfitsThis thunderstorm in my head ... I never know, when it will hit me.
Yesterday was hell, and it happened faster and faster, with shorter times in between.
Without any reason (of course, ptsd don't need a reason to keep going) I started crying, again and again, scared I wouldn't survive the night, wouldn't make it into 2025.
And I told myself a thousand times, that there is no reason for it, that everything is fine .... but pointless, I found myself crying again.
Today, everything is fine, I was able to shoo the clouds away, when a scary thought came up, but it's exhausting.
Waterfall by JeffersonAF at daz3d
Storm Front - Lightning by DimensionTheory daz3d
little red lens flare and a bit lightning effects in Photoshop no other postwork than that
Yesterday was hell, and it happened faster and faster, with shorter times in between.
Without any reason (of course, ptsd don't need a reason to keep going) I started crying, again and again, scared I wouldn't survive the night, wouldn't make it into 2025.
And I told myself a thousand times, that there is no reason for it, that everything is fine .... but pointless, I found myself crying again.
Today, everything is fine, I was able to shoo the clouds away, when a scary thought came up, but it's exhausting.
Waterfall by JeffersonAF at daz3d
Storm Front - Lightning by DimensionTheory daz3d
little red lens flare and a bit lightning effects in Photoshop no other postwork than that
I find it very brave and courageous how you deal with the adversities of life, communicate them and implement them creatively. My utmost respect!
REPLY
! REPORT
Beautiful Misfits
Karma: 15,452
Thu, Jan 02Thank you < 3
I have only two possibilities, let the whole thing drag my down and break me for ever or I'll fight.
My life has been fight most of the time (nomen est omen?) cause my name means the fighter but also the hero.
And I decided early in life, to never give up without a fight.
3d is one way to distract myself and work out, what's going on, the other one I'm still searching and asking for, hoping that there will be one person educated enough to help me.
I have only two possibilities, let the whole thing drag my down and break me for ever or I'll fight.
My life has been fight most of the time (nomen est omen?) cause my name means the fighter but also the hero.
And I decided early in life, to never give up without a fight.
3d is one way to distract myself and work out, what's going on, the other one I'm still searching and asking for, hoping that there will be one person educated enough to help me.
It's amazing how you've also found a way to focus your fears and worries so that you can get a grip on yourself again with the help of 3D art.
Nothing is worse than believing that you can't go on. You will always go on. But we each determine the path we take for ourselves in our own personal way.
I think I know what you mean. Because I also dive into the 3D world when it gets unbearable for me. Here I can experience the beautiful, the pleasant, the peaceful and lovable life in my own way and, above all, make it visible and tangible in my mind.
Nothing is worse than believing that you can't go on. You will always go on. But we each determine the path we take for ourselves in our own personal way.
I think I know what you mean. Because I also dive into the 3D world when it gets unbearable for me. Here I can experience the beautiful, the pleasant, the peaceful and lovable life in my own way and, above all, make it visible and tangible in my mind.
REPLY
! REPORT
Beautiful Misfits
Karma: 15,452
Thu, Jan 02Thank you 
To believe that I can't go on would mean giving up, and that's not one of my skills.
Right, "painting" the world in brighter colors is helping too. Barney and Topsy are there for that matter
The next is going out, nature itself is showing me so much beauty, only that this beauty now comes with a risk, my brain could use against me.
So I'm telling myself all the time: That's what it's worth living for
To believe that I can't go on would mean giving up, and that's not one of my skills.
Right, "painting" the world in brighter colors is helping too. Barney and Topsy are there for that matter
The next is going out, nature itself is showing me so much beauty, only that this beauty now comes with a risk, my brain could use against me.
So I'm telling myself all the time: That's what it's worth living for
Adobe Photoshop
Daz Studio
