"...Quite an unusual statue we've added to our collection. It appears to be an ancient Greek statue of a muscular, naked woman holding a large sword. It's unusual, firstly, because the sword doesn't match any designs from any civilization, past or present! Another thing, what many people don't know, is that statues like this were painted back in the day, but this statue was never painted as far as we can tell. And thirdly... wait... did she move...?"
- Last known recording of Mr. [REDACTED], curator at the [REDACTED] Art Museum.